The Newlywed Years

You've dreamed of your newlywed years and now they are here! So how do you like married life? If your newlywed days are all that you dreamed of then that's great!

If these days are a little less than ideal, don't worry. The first couple of years of married life are truly precious! Here the foundation is laid, budget is drawn up, and compromise is a constant.

Because two lives are merging into one, there is a lot of adjusting to be done. Adjusting to marriage can be fun and romantic, like waking up next to your beloved spouse. At the same time, adjusting to marriage can be frustrating and disappointing as quirks are revealed and expectations are made.

There may be a point in these early years when you feel overwhelmed and question why you got married. This is totally normal. Don't panic. Marriage gets a lot more wonderful as these times of breaking come to a close.

Below are three main reasons why your newlywed days are less than you dreamed of:

1. Expectations

Each person, upon entering the union of marriage, has certain expectations of how marriage will be and the role his or her spouse will play in the marriage.

Typically these expectations are far too unrealistic. This puts a lot of pressure on a spouse and creates disappointment in both the husband and wife.

To avoid the problem of unrealistic expectations, compromise and contentment must take place. Compromise with each other and be content with the outcome. This is the only way you will have peace.

2. Attitude

Our attitude toward each other changes after we get married. Before we were trying to win our spouse's heart. We were attentive listeners, we exercised and ate right, we thought before speaking, and saw only the best in each other. We constantly put each other first. Nowadays, the attention has shifted to work, bills, and home. To reverse this, focus on your spouse and not on the things of the world.

3. Quirks

Quirks have the ability to make the newlywed years feel less than ideal. No woman dreams of their future husband leaving the toilet seat up, nor do men dream of their future wife waking up next to him with curlers in her hair and cold cream on her face. The solution is not to break your spouse of his or her quirk as if you were potty training a puppy. Instead, lovingly express to your spouse that x,y,z really annoys you. Chances are your spouse was not trying to annoy you, they were just being him or herself. One of two things must happen for such quirks to stop causing division.

A. You either stop letting x,y,z, bug you; or
B. Your spouse stops doing x,y,z.

Hopefully, this will clear up some of the problems you may be having in these newlywed days. Just remember that what you are feeling is perfectly normal and with time your marriage will be in prefect working order.