Guest List

Brides and grooms and their parents have been battling over the guest list forever. Weddings are such a joyous occasion that it is normal for you and your parents to want to share your special day with everyone! However, most of us can't afford a wedding in which we invite everyone. So, often comes the time for some difficult decisions over who should be cut from the guest list. Here’s our guide to making the guest list work:

The first step is to go through your guest list and put an "A" or a "B" next to each name. The A's are the absolute "must invites" and the B list is everyone else.

The next step is to cut the "B list". Ask yourself these three questions:

Have I seen this person in the last 12 months?
Have I spoken with this person in the last 6 months?

If you answered "no" to the questions above, it's probably a good idea to cut this person from your guest list. Still need to do some more cutting? Well, here are some more hints:

Don't invite your parent's friends, particularly if you don't know them very well. There is one exception to this rule. If your parents are paying for all or a majority of the wedding expenses, they may be entitled to more input regarding the guest list and other areas of the wedding planning.

Don't invite old high school or college friends that you know you'll never see again.
Don't invite second and third cousins.
Don't invite business associates unless of course, it's your boss.
Don't invite children.
Don't allow single people those without "significant others" to bring a date.
Don't invite people just because you were invited to their wedding. If you've lost touch with them don't feel compelled to invite them to your wedding.

You may feel badly about cutting people from your guest list but remember this is the fastest way to save money on your wedding expenses!

If you are still having trouble deciding who to and who not to invite consider these things:

Who is paying:
Because the bride's parents traditionally paid for the wedding, they usually determined the number of guests and told the groom's parents how many people they were allowed to invite. Now that couples are paying for some of the expenses themselves, if not all, they often primarily decide how many people to invite and divide that number between their two families.

If you go traditional and the parents of the bride are footing the bill, then you should take their wishes into account and try to compromise. At a large wedding, a few extra people won't make a bit of difference. But if your goal is intimacy, stick to your guns no matter what pressures your family unleash especially if you're paying.

The Food Factor:
Because food is usually one of the largest costs associated with a wedding, and because catering costs are determined on a per-person basis, keeping your guest list small is a major money saver. Depending on what you serve, the per-person cost can range anywhere from $10 to $200.

The Space Factor:
Also dependent on your guest list is your choice of wedding/reception site. If you have your heart set on a small country church but plan to invite 200 people, you can see the problem it presents. So figure out which is more important to you: more guests or a specific place. If you choose more people, find a wedding site that will comfortably accommodate them. If your site is most important, find out how many people your space will hold and invite accordingly.

Hurt Feelings:
If the issue at hand is the potentially hurt feelings of the uninvited, remember that distant cousins often feel as indifferent toward you as you do toward them, and may be happy not to come. The same goes for distant friends. A wedding is not an excuse to round up every friend you have known since you were 10 so focus on people who matter now. If you seem to have a lot of disappointed friends, consider having an additional reception or restaurant luncheon after the honeymoon.

Your Sweetie's Friends:
As for your sweetie's friends you wish you'd never met, start with this crucial ground rule: You two are separate people with different tastes. You don't have to like each other's friends, but letting them share this special day with you is not going to hurt anyone.