Wedding Traditions

It's your day so don't let tradition dictate what you have to do. Everyone can agree that some time-honored customs bring a sense of history to the wedding events, but there are no "musts" for the day, unless you choose them yourself. Here are some of the most common wedding traditions and their histories for you to decide which ones to keep and which to toss. Keep in mind too...something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue, and a lucky penny in your shoe!

Wedding Bands:
Symbolizing never-ending love between a man and woman, the earliest wedding bands made of hemp or braided grass gave way to durable metals, until the 15th century when the diamond was introduced into the equation, representing a more valuable, stronger commitment which most modern brides still choose to uphold. Even though some couples may forego an ring, it is still customary for the man to ask the bride's family for their blessing before proposing. Old-fashioned as it may seem, the prospective groom is wise to maintain good relations with his in-laws-to-be.

White Wedding Dress:
Bridal gowns of ancient times were actually brightly colored to signify joy. Many accounts credit Queen Victoria with being the first to wear white as a sign of affluence.

Bridal Veil:
Long ago the groom would cover his bride's head in capture or as protection from evil spirits, giving way to the bridal veil.

Bridesmaid Dresses:
In the past, bridesmaids dressed like the bride to "confuse" evil spirits, but it's no longer necessary for everyone to look identical.

Down The Aisle:
One tradition that has evolved with women's liberation is the father walking his daughter down the aisle as property to "give away" to the groom. Clutching Dad's arm as you make your way to your groom is another one of those traditions that, can be perceived more as a gesture of love, rather than an exchange of property.

Throwing Rice:
Today, guests shower the newlyweds with wishes for fertility, prosperity, and bounty by blowing bubbles, tossing rose petals or birdseed, and releasing doves or butterflies, rather than throwing rice, the original custom.

The Receiving Line:
The receiving line has developed out of the belief that the couple shares their good fortune with everyone they touch. 

Bouquet & Garter Toss:
Why did a bride, once upon a time, decide to toss her bouquet at her single friends, and allow her garter to be ripped out from beneath her dress and then nabbed by a bachelor or auctioned off to the highest bidder? These traditions actually have roots in England when guests or even just spectators of the wedding would tear at the bride's clothing and flowers to share in her happiness. While fleeing from her attackers, the bride would toss her bouquet into the mob to placate them. It is now believed that the catcher of the bouquet will be the next woman to marry, as will be the man who catches the garter.

Wedding Cake:
Traditionally many wheat cakes were broken over the bride's head to bring good luck and fertility. During the reign of King Charles II of England, a baker stacked these cakes and frosted them, creating the tiered wedding cake popular today. Folklore proclaims that the top tier represents the couple and will be preserved in the freezer for the couple to share on their first anniversary. The bride and groom are to kiss over their tall cake for luck and then cut the first piece together.

The Kiss:
Oh, those passionate Italians! In ancient Rome, an engagement was null and void without the kiss, for that sweet smooch was a legal bond that sealed all contracts. The kiss at the end of the ceremony marks the couple's new status as husband and wife, and part of each soul is left behind in the other when their breath is exchanged.

The Dance:
As awkward as it is for the bride and groom to begin the first dance alone on the dance floor, it is truly a crowd pleaser. The father-daughter and mother-groom dance are other favorite traditions, so that the couple may extend their gratitude to the parents who have loved and supported them.

The Honeymoon:
Back when a bride married by capture and not by choice, the groom would take her away following the wedding, and keep her in hiding for a full cycle of the moon (28 days). During this time, they would drink a fermented honey beverage called mead to ease inhibitions, in the hope that by the time the bride's family found her, she would be pregnant. And thus, the term honeymoon was coined. Another belief was that if the couple were to drink mead for a moon's cycle, they would be blessed with a male heir within a year.

Carrying Over The Threshold:
Carrying the bride over the threshold stems from the age-old legend of the groom literally dragging her away. The groom would also lift her up to elude the family demons or evil spirits that were said to follow the bride and wait at the threshold. The Romans thought it bad luck if the bride should trip on her way into her new home, so her groom had to carry her.